Filed Under My D Diary
I kept thinking that many sad things in my life were unexplainable because at those moments i was in the-unfair-side. Now, i realized. Though we are in the unfair side, life is always explainable, if we can clean out all bad things in our mind. To see the world clearly is the key to make my life balance.
Now, i smile in both bad & happy moment because i know life is always explainable.
Filed Under Uncategorized
Akhir-akhir ini aku semakin sering merasakan, sekelebat pertanyaan dalam keterjagaanku dari lelap tidur. Tentang pertanyaan-pertanyaan mengganjal “apa aku?”, “siapa aku?”, “kenapa aku hidup di dunia?”, “kapan aku mati?”, “apa rasanya mati?”. Mas Yudi bilang dia juga pernah mengalami hal semacam ini beberapa saat sebelum dia memutuskan untuk menikah itu hanya kesimpulan yang aku tangkap dari perkataannya. Biasanya, aku biarkan saja keadaan itu, atau kalau tidak, aku berusaha untuk share lewat puisi-puisiku atau lewat cerita2 di blog.
Tapi yang aku rasakan pagi ini, begitu kuat menyengat kesadaranku. Aku tiba-tiba bangun dihadapkan pada asma Allah didindingku, dengan keras pertanyaan “aku itu apa? siapa?” menghantamku, “bagaimana rasanya aku mati?”.. pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu seperti mengguyurku, membuatku merasa asing kepada diriku sendiri. Lalu lintasan memori dalam benakku hadir, memori tentang hari kemarin, aku tertawa-tawa, aku main basket, aku makan, aku bersama teman-teman, seolah-olah aku melihat orang lain dan bukan aku sendiri yang ada dalam memoriku. Pertanyaan, bagaimana bisa jiwaku hidup dan menjalani kehidupan didalam tubuh dengan nama “kiki”?
astaghfirullahaldzim..
“Allah memegang jiwa (orang) ketika matinya dan (memegang) jiwa (orang) yang belum mati di waktu tidurnya; maka Dia tahan jiwa (orang) yang telah Dia tetapkan kematiannya dan Dia melepaskan jiwa yang lain sampai waktu yang ditentukan.” (QS. Az Zumar : 42)[1]
Filed Under Uncategorized
postingan terakhir saya di blog uns ini tertanggal 18 Juni 2010, dan selama rentang waktu itu banyak hal yang terjadi, saya lebih suka memposting beberapa puisi di www.rizkyadiwordsoflife.wordpress.com karena menurut saya bercerita di blog itu terasa sangat “terbuka” =)
saya jadi merasa nggak punya apa-apa lagi untuk disimpan, kalau sudah saya ceritakan semua. Tapi dengan puisi, saya bebas berekspresi tanpa orang-orang harus benar-benar mengerti apa yang saya mau katakan =D
Hhmmm…. 2 hari yang lalu saya iseng membuka blog seseorang yang selama ini saya amati =P,
saya jadi ingin menghidupkan lagi blog ini, karena dulu pernah saya curhat sesuatu tentang dia di beberapa postingan di blog ini.
=)
heheheh pengennya saya aktifkan lagi semua blog saya, tapi cobalah kita lihat gimana hasilnya..
Filed Under lagu asyikkk
O Allah the Almighty
Protect me and guide me
To your love and mercy
Ya Allah don’t deprive me
From beholding your beauty
O my Lord accept this plea
CHORUS:
Hasbi rabbi jallallah
Ma fi qalbi ghayrullah
My Lord is enough for me, Glory be to Allah
There is nothing in my heart except Allah
CHORUS
Hindi:
Wo tanha kaun hai
Badshah wo kaun hai
Meherba wo kaun hai
Who is the only One?
Who is the King?
Who is the Merciful?
Kya unchi shan hai
Uskey sab nishan hai
Sab dilon ki jan hai
Who is the most praised and benevolent?
Whatever you see in this world is His sign
He’s the love of every soul
CHORUS
Turkish:
Affeder gunahi
Alemin padisahi
Yureklerin penahi
He is the Forgiver of all sins
He is the King of the universe
He is the Refuge of all hearts
Isit Allah derdimi, bu ahlarimi
Rahmeyle, bagisla gunahlarimi
Hayreyle hem aksam hem sabahlarimi
O Allah hear my sorrows and my sighs
Have mercy and pardon my sins
Bless my night and days
CHORUS
Arabic:
Ya rabbal ‘alamin
Salli ‘ala Tahal amin
Fi kulli waqtin wa hin
O Lord of the worlds
Send peace and blessings
On Ta-ha the trustworthy
In every time and at every instant
Imla’ qalbi bil yaqin
Thabbitni ‘ala hadhad din
Waghfir li wal muslimin
Fill my heart with conviction
Make me steadfast on this Religion
And forgive me and all the believers
Filed Under PengAlaManKu
todayi felt like im truly blessed by Allah SWT because everything is so fine today.. =)
i woke up early, because Allah Wants me to
i prayed happily, because Allah
i served everyone sincerely, because Allah
i smiled warmly and whole-heartedly, because Allah
and May Allah Ridha for everything i’ve done today..
Alhamdulillah… =D
Filed Under My D Diary
I was actually about to plan a nice and long hibernation for my Saturday and Sunday. I have already rejected any proposals, appointment at those days to spend in my luvly-hummy room. It was so nice. I successfully did my plan. Saturday i took the time only for rolling-rolling on the bed, smelling the smooth fragrance of my pillow ohhh, reading romantic novels (nyuummyy) and escorting my friend (by sms)who’s in the long trip.. soooo nniiiccceee…. I was very happy. My room is very lovable nest for my hibernation, no friends’ infringing, no proposals shud be done, and no one except me.
Then, suddenly the day rounded to Sunday. As usual when I keep myself away from people for any long time, hide myself from human interactions, I became disoriented.. Felt so stuck with only myself. I need meeting with people, experiencing human’s interaction.. Smile and being smiled. Care and being cared.. anything laughs, sadness, stories, and everything to keep myself alive. I then took my cellular try to connect myself with friends’ conversations.
I was suspicious of my cellular because i found some troubles in sending message to my friend. This was one thing made me a bit desperate. Evrytime i sent my friend a quite long message, i had to follow it with “ehmmm… i sent sms lhoo..” because my friend often replied for getting no sms from me. I felt a bit guilty and impolite to my friend because i had to send it maaaannnnyyy tiiimmmeesss and that sms “i-sent-sms-lho” placed me in a mistaken point. Because my friend was on a journey so i was afraid wud take my friend’s attentions from sight seeing and enjoying the trip.
3 pm, i decided to go out to the living room (at least i was getting outside and meeting friends =)).. that’s quite relieving.. I was cheered up again by them. There were discussions, chatts and laughter that made me acquire: here it is my life.. being touched by human’s footprints. I wud not survive without friends and others touching in my life (except of that because of the Graceful ALLAH)..
In the evening, my partner on the project, sent me message.. Okey, i have to thank and blame him for breaking my hibernation hehehe.. He said “mbak kiki MOU and LoI gimana?” hmmm… OOuughh… i think i shud get up, to take what i’ve been harshly thrown away..
I was picked up by him in the evening and in the office there were many friends struggling for the same things. hmmmm… so here I am 4: 13 am and i am still translating the Mutual of Understanding..
Soooo maaannyyy tiiimmeee during my working those troublesome jobs I almost cudnt be able to keep my self from saying “daammnnn…dammmnn…dammmnn…sooo tirreeedd!!!!” as many as i wanted to post these words to my facebook.. My friends starred at me weirdly seeing my growling-growling, my shouting, my laughing to myself because i just cudnt keep my self from this tiring thing.
Im trying to break my hibernation, trying to learn sumthing this morning, trying to be a gud and impolite girl but…. see? I really want to throw the windows of my office with chairs because i cudnt keep my self holding on….. and because the proposal havent been finished…
Ggooddd Help me…. =)
Filed Under filosofi
im thinking about this “originated from me” theory recent days…
My finding during my study in American studies toward scholars’ characteristics is a classical-but-everlasting phenomenon. That is scholars’ question about the coherence of science and religion. What has happened, i observed, is that when scholars get drawned themselves to the scince, scientific thought and logical thinking, they find that God and religion is a social-construction. God does not exist.. that religion is only human’s escape to the “unanswered question” in their life.They believe that religion and science can not walk along together to find any conclusions because religion is “invisible” and science is “visible”. In other words, they suggest that religion cannot be put in scientific studies.
I, myself, have ever thought about that incoherence because when i was an elementary student, teachers feeded me with the similar thought (do you agree with me?). They take the example of Adam’s Creation and The Homo Sapiens -or something- to teach our minds. That’s absolutely affect my mind so much. No wonder i would not talk about science in relation to religion, i would not put any God’s name in my scientific words.
Back to the point. So, modern experts and intellects have concluded that God Does not exist. They put aside any religion teachings in their study because they belive it’s ilogic. They create more and more formulas to “logicize” their world and the reality they see. More formulas they’ve been created, their beliefs to invisible things will dissapear. They think that formulas are enough to explain the world, the reality. Thus more experts and intellects are loosing their faith to God and Belief.
In fact, i think, they are wrong.
The formula isnt a good point to start arguing that God doesnt exist. In my opinion, the Formula does not present any human’s greatness. It shows no success of human achievement. It is merely human’s curiousity toward everything they see. I believe that Formula is even the evidence of human’s weaknesses. Because what? Formula always depends it’s system on accuracy. And until now, the accuracy isnt fixed. Moreover, when it is applied to world’s phenomena. Nothing is fixed in the world.
This point should be taken as a beginning to think that there’s must be something beyond our knowledge who Arrange and Creates this uncertainty and the unaccuracy of world. I believe that is God the Accurate. That He Intentionally Creates anything uncertainty for human to be observed, to be examined so that the results will advance human’s lives. That He Creates the abundance sources of science not to push humankind to think that He Doesnt exist, but to realize that there IT IS. Something beyond human’s reaching of thought.
I believe that the Formula ends to a conclusion that God is THe Great. That there is another world beyond our blindly sight.
Filed Under mumet
hanya mau bercerita,,,…
ternyata kemampuan bahasa seseorang tidak menurun melalui gen-nya heheheh (maksudnya??)
jadi, intinya adalah walaupun aku adalah seorang mahasiswa sastra inggris (dan tidak juga menjamin bisa berbahasa inggris dengan benar–tapi minimal mudeng), gen yang aku punya tidak ada turunan-nya dari kakak perempuanku yang sangat kusayangi.. Terbukti, ketika suatu hari kakakku itu pulang dari berbelanja di Jogja. Hari itu dia merasa berbinar-binar dan merasa sangat cantik sekali (kenyataannya dia memang lebih cantik hehehe dari aku =P).
Dan Kalau sedang merasa cantik dan bahagia dia jadi cerita panjang lebaaaarrrrrrr (kalo sedih juga gak bisa diem). Katanya di Jogja (yang terkenal banyak bulenya itu) banyak cowok-cowok bule yang mendadak memperhatikan dia (wedeewww..).. Waktu itu aku agak heran, hehehehe kenapa bisa cowok-cowok bule menjadi ‘curious’ pada kakak perempuanku itu..
waktu aku tanya kenapa, dia jawab..
“aku juga gak tau, mereka perhatiin aku, apalagi pas aku lewat didepan mereka… dan aku ngomong pake Inggris..”
“hmmmm??” kataku masih nggak yakin
“mungkin kaget ya, aku bisa ngomong inggris lancar?”
“emang ngomong apa?” tanyaku
“pas aku lewat aku bilang cusme..cusme…”
“hhhmmmmm..???? lha maksudnya apa cusme-cusme??” masih heran
“permisiii…” jawabnya lugu
hhaaaallllaaaahhh… pantes aja cowok-cowok bule itu memperhatikan. Gimana nggak, lagi sante2 mendadak ada cewek pribumi menawarkan diri “choose me..choose me”
aaahhhhaaayyyy…. memang kemampuan bahasa itu tidak secara genetis menurun pada masing2 individu hehehehehe
Filed Under Uncategorized
Selamat Datang di UNS Social Network ™.
Ini adalah [bukan] posting pertama anda, Silakan login ke dashboard blog anda, kemudian Posts > Edit. Hapus Semua tulisan ini, dan ubah menjadi tulisan-tulisan Mautmu…. Bikin Manis UNSmu sekarang juga, karena kini UNS Membutuhkanmu..!
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Filed Under Uncategorized
I was about 5 years old when the movie was released. That’s why i excuse my self for being out-of-date =p..
I’ve tried so hard to download this movie because i’ve read the book and been impressed by it. But then after i’ve found the movie (Fuad actually made it for me, thanks bro..). Im a bit dissapointed by the movie. So many interesting scenes arent well explored in the movie. Moreover when I find that the actors do not move well (eh??), i mean they arent playing naturally.
I have imagined the great story and situation by reading the book. So, the movie kicks me down to earth.
Julia Robert and Denzel Washington, both of them are my favorites, cannot give a hit (for me).
